Let Technology Be A Gift, Not The Great Wall

Technology has transformed the way we relate to one another. When it comes to our romantic relationships, there are so many ways that technology has evolved our ability to stay together with even the greatest of distances between us. You can turn to Skype, Facebook, Snapchat a kiss to your partner a million miles away, or literally “thumb kiss” them through digital touch on the Couple App.

Technology is a true gift, and we should keep it that way in our relationships. Like anything, though, there must be boundaries. What often happens in relationships is that technology not only becomes a barrier, it becomes a safeguard against having real physical contact and conversations with our partners. Texting becomes a hinderance to important conversations, acting as a defense mechanism for those who have an aversion to “feeling their feelings” or talking about them. It becomes a way to hide.

Consider the following points to allow your relationship to become more balanced and less like a struggle between the worlds of reality and technology. Try them out for a week and see what differences you notice.

1. No phones allowed in bed.

Yep, you read that correctly. Studies show that focusing on the bright screens at night stimulate brain activity, so chances are that if you shut those screens off, you will not only experience better sleep, you will also be fully present for your partner to actually have some decent end-of-day dialogue. That sounds a little better than catching up on the last 5 updates on your news feed, wouldn’t you say?

2. Don’t post your whole life on social media.

While using Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. are all great ways of keeping family and friends in the loop with special events, pictures, and announcements, your primary relationship deserves some privacy, don’t you think? Allow there to be a filter when posting things related to your relationship and family. Make sure you discuss and determine- together- what your lines in the sand are. Do you post pictures of your kids’ births? Do you take a picture of your wife asleep and post it for the world to see (would she be ok with this)? Remember, you control who you let in on social media. Protecting the privacy of your relationship allows you both to feel that you have something special between the two of you that doesn’t include the rest of the world.

3. Share your tools and schedule some lovin’.

With the fast pace of our world today, the regiment of: Come home, check Facebook, make dinner, check Facebook, turn on the show (or get the kids to bed), check Facebook, lay in bed, check Facebook…you get where this is going…turns each day into more of a robotic lull. Sit down together and create a shared calendar. Write in some date nights and schedule time for love. Use technology to your advantage! Set alarms and remind yourselves to enjoy some quality time together, even during the busiest of weeks.

Check out my post on 3 Simple Ways To Connect With Your Partner for some great starter ideas. Let technology be a tool...not the great wall that separates you from your partner.