🎧 Episode 35: Perfectly Hidden Depression with Dr. Margaret Rutherford
📝 Episode Summary:
Have you ever seen someone whose life appeared seemingly perfect from the outside, only to learn that they were actually suicidal or living with chronic depression? Liz talks with Dr. Margaret Rutherford, psychotherapist and the host of The SelfWork Podcast. Dr. Margaret takes us into the world of Perfectly Hidden Depression, and discusses her book that she wrote on this topic. Many of us have a general idea of what we think depression looks like, but Dr. Margaret brings a new lens to the fact that often, depressed individuals still function out of a perfectionistic and overfunctioning place.
NOTE: This episode includes sensitive and triggering conversations around suicide and self-harm behaviors.
💬 Episode Notes:
The millennial drive to leave a legacy and make an impact can often feel overwhelming and unsustainable.
Many people appear composed and high-functioning while secretly struggling to stay afloat.
Rising perfectionism rates are directly correlated with increased suicide rates.
Society must acknowledge the immense pressure so many live under each day.
Perfectionism is often fueled by shame and self-criticism, while healthy perfectionism stems from curiosity and growth.
It’s possible to identify with Perfectly Hidden Depression while also meeting criteria for other mental health diagnoses.
High-functioning depression differs from classic depression — those affected often know they’re struggling but keep performing.
Awareness is the first step: recognize when perfectionism becomes harmful rather than helpful.
Commit to changing unhealthy perfectionistic tendencies that block emotional connection.
Question the “rules” in your life — determine which ones serve you and which ones suffocate you.
Learning to connect with and express emotion is a key part of healing.
Hope lives in change — even small shifts can be transformative.
It’s possible to feel both gratitude and grief simultaneously.
📚 Resources Mentioned:
🔗 Stay Connected:
Visit Dr. Margaret’s website for more insights.
Listen to her show: The SelfWork Podcast.
Explore her book on Perfectly Hidden Depression.
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Facebook: Millennial Life Counseling
Website: www.millenniallifecounseling.com