🎧 Episode 39: Breaking Down Criticism and Blame with Liz Higgins

Jul 29

📝 Episode Summary:

Liz is coming to you solo today to discuss two incredibly common, and unfortunately detrimental, relationship dynamics that pop up throughout conflict cycles: Criticism and Blame. Liz defines these dynamics, explaining how they show up, what protective purpose they hold, and what we can do differently if we want to shift out of these negative dances with our partner, family, friends (legit, anyone!) and into a healthier way of relating. Enjoy!

💬 Episode Notes:

You can grow and develop relationally regardless of whether you’re single, dating, or married.
Criticism is not helpful feedback — it’s meant to hurt or distance, not to guide.
When we criticize, we’re pushing others away instead of drawing them closer.
Criticism targets the *person* instead of addressing the *behavior*.
This pattern quickly leads to emotional shutdown and disconnection.
Turning criticism into a request redirects attention toward the behavior and expresses needs constructively.
Blame operates as a defense mechanism to deflect pain or discomfort.
As Brené Brown describes it, “blame is the discharge of pain and discomfort.”
It’s our personal responsibility to explore what’s happening within us when we feel the urge to blame.
Shifting from criticism and blame to curiosity and accountability fosters emotional safety and connection.