🎧 Episode 7: The Mindset Shifts That are Saving My Marriage with Liz Higgins
📝 Episode Summary:
In this episode, Liz talks about the 5 Mindset Shifts that I believe have truly saved my marriage. These shifts may not always be easy, but they’re definitely worth it. And we have no doubt, if you adopt these mindsets, you too can have an epic relationship.
From Liz: “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again - becoming a licensed therapist has truly changed me on more than a professional level; it’s changed me personally, too! This career path has taught me about myself, about the potential my relationship with my husband has, and has brought me opportunities, happiness, and joy all along the way. It’s also given me this platform to share these concepts with you - concepts I’ve learned through my personal relationships, as well as through my education and my studies. I’m thrilled to have the opportunity to share these concepts with you, specifically these life- and love-changing mindsets I’ve acquired.”
💬 Episode Notes:
My partner won’t complete me. We are a jaded generation that tends to crave that sense of the “perfect someone” for us. The reality of relationships is that this does not exist.
This idea leads to conditional change. Conditional change is “I’ll change when you change”. If we sit around waiting for this, we’ll be waiting a long time.
The real key to a successful modern relationship is giving your all. This doesn’t always mean 100% to the relationship itself, but rather 100% into being the best version of you.
Marriage is not just saying ‘yes’ to someone else. Marriage is not the journey from proposal, through engagement, to a public proclamation of your love. Marriage is saying ‘yes’ to your partner, committing to a life together, and to your own personal growth and healing!
In order for a relationship to work, it must be two whole selves working on their own growth, as well as creating a life together that they’re excited to live. For millennials, this often means leaving a legacy and making a difference.
We repeat what we don’t repair. We must look inward into who we really are. By doing so, we dive not only into ourselves, but into our families and past generations. If we’re not aware of their characteristics and tendencies in relationships (both good and bad), we will inherently live these out.
When we have a willingness to look at ourselves and learn the story of who we are and where we come from, and share this journey with our partner, we create a partnership so much deeper than any other relationship in our lives.
If it’s right, it’s still hard. We have this idea today that if we’re with the right person it should be easy or it should feel easy. Things feel exciting and heightened at the beginning of a relationship, and they should! Things, however, change, happen, and grow. Hardships don’t mean we’re not right for each other.
All conflict is really an opportunity for growth. A relationship is a living, growing thing. As humans, we change and grow as we age - both physically and emotionally. This is inherently going to bring some conflict.
Replace the idea of the word “conflict” with “growing pains”. Look at these growing pains as opportunities we have in our relationships to take things to the next level. Reframe conflict as an opportunity for growth, and see how it changes your perspectives and relationships.
Conflict can really be a way of getting a deeper lens into who our partner actually is - we just have to learn to navigate it better.
📚 Resources Mentioned:
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