🎧 Episode 52: Criticism & Blame: Toxic Relationship Habits with Liz Higgins

Dec 13

📝 Episode Summary:

Liz is coming to you solo today to discuss two incredibly common, and unfortunately detrimental, relationship dynamics that pop up throughout conflict cycles: Criticism and Blame. Liz defines these dynamics, explaining how they show up, what protective purpose they hold, and what we can do differently if we want to shift out of these negative dances with our partner, family, friends (legit, anyone!) and into a healthier way of relating. Enjoy!

💬 Episode Notes:

You can learn, grow, and develop relationally no matter your relationship status.
Criticism is not constructive feedback — it’s a form of attack that aims to hurt rather than heal.
When we criticize others, we push them away instead of inviting connection.
Criticism targets the person, not the behavior, creating defensiveness and disconnection.
Persistent criticism leads to emotional shutdown and eroded intimacy.
Making a request instead of an accusation redirects focus toward the behavior and opens space for understanding.
Blame serves as a defense mechanism — it protects us from discomfort but blocks accountability.
Brené Brown describes blame as the discharge of pain and discomfort.
Our work is to pause and explore what’s happening *within* us when we feel the urge to criticize or blame.
Awareness and self-regulation are the first steps toward transforming reactive habits into responsive communication.